The Day I Jumped To The Wrong Conclusions On My Jump To Conclusions Mat
Ever have a day when you jump to the wrong conclusions on the Jump To Conclusions Mat? I have.
Exhibit 1:
7:30 a.m. Sunday morning my wife's cell phone rings.
We're still in bed.
She reaches for, and picks up, the phone off floor by bed where she leaves it to charge.
Looks at me oddly.
Huh?
A couple of thoughts went through my head within a split second:
1. I left my cell phone at the men's chorus concert Saturday night, it was found by one of the other members of the chorus and he called me to let me know he had it.
2. My phone was stolen. The perpetrator accidentally called my wife's number, or worse, as said wife would mention a few minutes later, called her to taunt me.
It dawned on me.
Our cat Seamus had stepped on my cell while it was left on the couch..
...which when I went to look, I discovered that's who had called her.
Later, I learned I wasn't the only one who jumped to conclusions.
She told me later:
If only it were a phone with a cradle.
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Exhibit 1:
7:30 a.m. Sunday morning my wife's cell phone rings.
We're still in bed.
"Who is it?"
"I don't know..."
She reaches for, and picks up, the phone off floor by bed where she leaves it to charge.
Looks at me oddly.
"It's you."
Huh?
A couple of thoughts went through my head within a split second:
1. I left my cell phone at the men's chorus concert Saturday night, it was found by one of the other members of the chorus and he called me to let me know he had it.
2. My phone was stolen. The perpetrator accidentally called my wife's number, or worse, as said wife would mention a few minutes later, called her to taunt me.
"Neener, neener, neener, I have your phone."OR...
It dawned on me.
Our cat Seamus had stepped on my cell while it was left on the couch..
"It's Seamus."
...which when I went to look, I discovered that's who had called her.
Later, I learned I wasn't the only one who jumped to conclusions.
She told me later:
"When you said, 'It's Seamus,' I almost said, 'Seamus, hang up the phone.'"
If only it were a phone with a cradle.
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21 comments:
So did Seamus tell you what he wanted? Another breakfast? A blankie? Ear scritches? I totally believe Seamus is so smart he dialed you on purpose. I love him!
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I think he wanted breakfast treats mainly.
For the record, he dialed Kim and not me. :( I always knew he liked her better than me.
My daughter butt-dials me with her phone every so often. I actually like that commercial where the wife gets butt-dialed by her husband.
And can you believe I've never seen Office Space? I'm totally going to rent that soon.
First, WHAT?!? Oh, I'm disappointed that you've never seen Office Space. Must see.
Second, WHAT?!? up to me: I've never seen that commercial. Had to YouTube search it and found it. Very funny. For those who haven't seen it, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09Fs8cbV8lM
Are you sure Seamus is a cat? His IQ sounds higher than that of some people I've known over the years. *DONT_KNOW*
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Weird.
On the bright side, at least you knew the name of the p*ssy that called you.
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There was a time my friend's butt kept calling me. I finally suggested to her, after the calls became rather annoying, that she not place her cell phone in her back pocket.
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Nice kitty. Nice kitty. You should rent him out!
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Don't you just hate cat calls first thing in the morning.
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Oh, that's good. I wish I had thought of that. Very nicely done. :)
Uh....no. ;)
He's ours. We'll take him as he is.
Thanks for the asterisk. Otherwise, that really would have been vulgar. ;)
Yeah, he's a cat...
...and believe me, when you're throwing him "toys," i.e. bottlecaps and the such, his IQ isn't that high. He rarely can find them to bring them back, especially if they land on a carpet and not our bare wooden floor where it makes sound.
Good plan. Did she do it? Or has her butt still been calling you? ;)
Hey, at least it wasn't my kid. Again....Ahem.
Our cats are far too lazy to ever pick up a phone!
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This was a very funny post.
Not that part that you are in chorus. That part just adds to your awesomeness in my book.
The jumping to conclusions mat and Neener Neener. Loved those.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. >:o
Most are. Seamus only accidentally dialed the phone. He wouldn't have the energy to do it on purpose.
Awesomeness for being in a men's chorus of...well...let's say "distinguished" gentlemen? Okay. I'll take that. :)
I wish I could say I came up with the mat, but have to give credit to Mike Judge. I didn't come up with Neener, neener either sadly. My wife gets credit for passing that childish phrase on to me. Neener, neener to her too. ;)
We knew Seamus was a smart cat. Now I think he's finding clever ways to ask for his own cell phone.
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