Thunday Thout-Out Thostthoned This Thweek
If that title looks a little odd to you, let me translate, since I'm having problems speaking today: This week's Sunday Shout-Out is postponed this week.
Why? Let me provide a photo:
Last night as I was trying to go to bed, I suddenly felt like there was something stuck on my tongue. However, as much as I tried and tried, it wouldn't come off. That's weird, I thought.
So I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror to see if I could get the detritus off my tongue, and nope, it wasn't a jalapeno potato chip grafted to the top of my tongue. What I found was that I wouldn't be able to get anything off my tongue, because it was my tongue, or I should say, a piece of my tongue, almost like a wart on the front of my tongue.
In 40 years of existence, I had and have never seen or felt such a thing so what did I do? What any sane, rational man would do. I went back into the bedroom to tell my wife.
I showed it to her and she said that it was just irritated from eating three-quarters of a bag of jalapeno chips earlier in the night.
Then ensued a 20-minute monologue in which I whined that I'd never be able to get to thleep. About 4 a.m. I think I finally got to thleep, my tongue lolling out of my mouth.
Today, though in keeping with the hypochondria that is prevalent in my family (e.g. my sister), I had to look up online about tongue ulcers (even though I'm not sure that's what I have yet) and what was one of the first places I found:
Yep, this one that said "May cause cancer..." Of course I saw it as "may CAUSE CANCER."
So how do I treat this? Well, among the ways, listed were these helpful hints:
...unfortunately, I just learned through the world's greatest resource, Wikipedia that the pipal tree and the banyan tree aren't native to my part of the world.
I guess I'm thucked.
In the interim between last week's Sunday Shout-Out and next week's Sunday Shout-Out, visit any number of bloggers from these three sites:
Humor-Blogs.com
Humor Bloggers
BlogStorm
I highly recommend them (or at least some of them, you know who you are).
** My wife wanted me to add that I had "crazy eyes" (like that time I awoke when I had a dream that a friend in South Korea had died as the result of an attack from North Korea and I had to call him at 3 in the morning, she reminds me) and that I wanted to apply a band-aid to the tongue until she informed me that it probably wouldn't stick.
Why? Let me provide a photo:
Last night as I was trying to go to bed, I suddenly felt like there was something stuck on my tongue. However, as much as I tried and tried, it wouldn't come off. That's weird, I thought.
So I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror to see if I could get the detritus off my tongue, and nope, it wasn't a jalapeno potato chip grafted to the top of my tongue. What I found was that I wouldn't be able to get anything off my tongue, because it was my tongue, or I should say, a piece of my tongue, almost like a wart on the front of my tongue.
In 40 years of existence, I had and have never seen or felt such a thing so what did I do? What any sane, rational man would do. I went back into the bedroom to tell my wife.
"Um, honey, I think something's wrong with my tongue? Can you come look at it?"
"What?!?!"
"I think something's wrong with my tongue? Can you come look at it? It's really weird."
I showed it to her and she said that it was just irritated from eating three-quarters of a bag of jalapeno chips earlier in the night.
"Really? I've never seen or felt anything like this. It's like I have something stuck on my tongue and I can't get it off."
Then ensued a 20-minute monologue in which I whined that I'd never be able to get to thleep. About 4 a.m. I think I finally got to thleep, my tongue lolling out of my mouth.
Today, though in keeping with the hypochondria that is prevalent in my family (e.g. my sister), I had to look up online about tongue ulcers (even though I'm not sure that's what I have yet) and what was one of the first places I found:
Yep, this one that said "May cause cancer..." Of course I saw it as "may CAUSE CANCER."
So how do I treat this? Well, among the ways, listed were these helpful hints:
- Applying honey mixed with pipal tree leaves and its roots.
- Applying milk of the banyan tree.
...unfortunately, I just learned through the world's greatest resource, Wikipedia that the pipal tree and the banyan tree aren't native to my part of the world.
I guess I'm thucked.
In the interim between last week's Sunday Shout-Out and next week's Sunday Shout-Out, visit any number of bloggers from these three sites:
Humor-Blogs.com
Humor Bloggers
BlogStorm
I highly recommend them (or at least some of them, you know who you are).
** My wife wanted me to add that I had "crazy eyes" (like that time I awoke when I had a dream that a friend in South Korea had died as the result of an attack from North Korea and I had to call him at 3 in the morning, she reminds me) and that I wanted to apply a band-aid to the tongue until she informed me that it probably wouldn't stick.
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