HBDC Virtual Road Trip: Welcome to Pennsyltucky!
This is the second stop on the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Road Trip, which will take you through Canada, the U.S., back into Canada and then off to London, England. Thanks to Frank Lee MeeDeire of the blog i probably don't like you, you've already had a taste of Toronto, which probably tasted a little French, courtesy of Étienne Brûlé.
Here, in Pennsyltucky (all of that area outside the red and blue on the map above, that white is on purpose) we're mostly of English stock, thanks to this man (?):
As for taste, we'd probably taste a little gamy, to be honest, unlike Brûlé, because of our mostly heavy venison diet, which brings me to the first thing on
An Abbreviated List of Things To Do in Pennsyltucky:
1. Hunt: The prey of choice here is white-tailed deer**; the weapon of choice, a gun not surprisingly since we do cling to them along with our religion (as WASPy as you can get) although we have been known to use the Bowie knife, numchucks or the atlatl in times past (and possibly in the future too). Pennsyltucky also is home to the black bear, the ruffed grouse (the official state game bird) and the mountain lion (at least, some people believe it).2. Fish: The Susquehanna River cuts right through the heart of Pennsyltucky and has everything in it from trout to bass to walleye and recently the American eel has been reintroduced. In addition to the Susquehanna, Pennsyltucky has a plethora of lakes and ponds in which you can catch a wide variety of species from sunfish to piranha:
(okay, not really, but I just thought I'd see if you were paying attention).
3. Hike: Only a few miles from where I live is the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon or Pine Creek Gorge, which is just one of the highlights, at least, in my mind, in Pennsyltucky to hike and/or bike.
Also certainly not to be overlooked is the Appalachian Trail which cuts through the southeast corner of Pennsyltucky.
Only thing is while you might be able to hike through some of the areas, be aware that 35 to 40 state parks may be closed in the near future due to budgetary constraints so you may have to find leaves to use or bring your own stock of toilet paper.
4. Drink And Drive: This actually probably should have been No. 1. As a correspondent who covers local district courts, I know of what I speak. DUIs are the most prevalent crime here, next to pedophilia.
If you are going to drink and drive in Pennsyltucky, here is
An Abbreviated List of Attractions in Pennsyltucky:
to which you can drink and drive, if you make it alive:
1. Farm Museums: A list of which can be found here. You never seen one of these?
You'll learn all about them at your local Pennsyltucky farm museum.
2. The Peter J. McGovern Little League Museum: You'll learn not only about Little League Baseball, but also Little League SOFTBALL (even if it was after 36 years since Title IX was passed that the first Little League World Softball Series was played, at least, it happened, dammit).
If you come at the end of August this year, you even can catch the 2009 Little League World Baseball Series, culminating in the final game at Howard J. Lamade Stadium. For the 2009 Little League World Softball Series, however, you'll have to travel to Kalamazoo, Michigan earlier in August (see previous link for more information on dates).
3. Yep, that's about it.
For more on Pennsyltucky, visit here or there.
Next stop is June 5 in Jersey. Click below for the blogger who will be guiding you.
** Photo courtesy of Pennsylvania Game Commission/Hal Korber
20 comments:
Excellent. My favorite town there: Intercourse, PA (naturally...)
Recent blog post: Reconsider Everything
Yeah, I like Intercourse too, though I'm not a big fan of Blue Ball.
Technically, according to Wikipedia map above, Lancaster County is not in Pennsytlucky. However, I think because of the farming alone, it more than qualifies.
You had me at atlatl. But what about Punxsutaney and its famous groundhog, Phil? Is that part of Pennsyltucky?
I like Mr. Penn's lipstick, would you mind listing the color and brand?
Recent blog post: The Difference Between a Thong and a Wedgie
I now know what Pennsyltucky is! One of these days, I'll come and hike up there. I'm sure I can find something to wipe with (hopefully not poison oak)!
Thanks for the tour!
Recent blog post: Get Some Caffiene, it's a MEME!
I'd never heard of Pennsyltucky until you brought it to my attention. I thought you were joking and was going to ask you why it wasn't Kensylvania. But Wikipedia explained about "the 'T'". Are you a big gun enthusiast? I see the region has the 2nd largest concentration of NRA members after Texas - the Big T. Nice overview. Thanks for the tour.
Recent blog post: Displacement Activity
Punxsutawney is indeed in Pennsyltucky, good Canadian sir. Would you like your reward in Canadian coin? :) The list of attractions was abbreviated, but for more wacky attractions, I highly recommend Weird Pennsylvania, and you thought (well, I did) Jersey was weird.
http://www.weirdpennsylvania.com/ is the link.
The Color: Candy-ass red. The brand: French Pennsyltuckian, which seems like a contradiction, high vs. low class, but that was Penn for you, a paradox. :)
Hopefully not poison oak.
Except with hiking, I'd be more worried about the deer ticks and Lyme's Disease if I were you. Of course, you can't wipe with deer ticks (that's an odd thought, isn't it? Left field, definitely).
Actually I've lived here most of my nearly 40 years (only a few days away until a full 40), and I had never heard of the expression until recently. As for being a gun enthusiast, I am not. You'd think after living here so long that I would be.
Sure, I grew up with guns in our house, but only shot them for target practice (mostly when in Scouts)-- not for deer, like everyone else.
Some things.....
1. UR forgot to mention that HIS WIFE (aka Myself) OWNS and atlatl. Though it was handmade in Wyoming.
2. P-tucky is also home of the:
a. Tom Mix Museum
b. Zippo Lighter Museum
c. The only McDonald's with a working OIL RIG attached. You have to drive around it to get through the drive-through.
(b & c are both in Bradford PA...its a 2 for 1)
Recent blog post: The Time of My Life
What about county's that have only one high school, 6,000 people (with about 3,000 of them only living there in the summer in their cabins), and one stop light? You forgot that. Hello. Duh. :-)
Recent blog post: Thems baby squirrels in my attic, ya'll
I had no idea William Penn took his fashion advice from Joan of Arc. So even as a fellow Pennsyltuckian I learned something valuable today.
A clothing related question and comment.
1) Is that a ruffled grouse on William Penn's chest?
2) I think the Abbott and Costello bit about the Susquehanna Hat Company is funnier than Who's On First
Recent blog post: ATTENTION: Superman nerds of the Internet, I have questions.
Well, with drunk driving and pedophilia, who has time to hunt or fish? Also, this post would have been greatly improved had you not felt the need to Photoshop up a picture of those fake cows. Let's quit pretending.
Recent blog post: Mythical Creatures
I'm just going to have a cow on a truck and bring it down to you in Florida. Will that prove to you that they exist?
1. It might be.
2. I don't know if I know that bit. But then again, I'm pretty young. But I guess old-timers like yourself must remember that. :)
Yes, Bill loved Joan of Arc, I'm told.
40,000 people. Get it right. We're a freaking metropolis.
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