Funking Out in Every Way in Charm City
As usual, I walked in the door from work and Himself, the Rambler, was in mid-dither.
“I'm going to post about 'Play That Funky Music' because Kathy (from the Junk Drawer) mentioned it.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Although I don’t remember everything….”
“I tell the story better,” I said.
“Want to do a guest post?”
“Sure.”
“We have to have pictures though. Pictures of me being an ass. Dancing.”
“No need to use the wedding album,” I said, “ I have pictures from the day in question!”
So, after a brief robbery-worthy toss of the office, followed by a delicate straightening of the pins to the scanner plug with my good eyebrow tweezers, I bring you The Story.
The year was 1995, the place, Baltimore Inner Harbor. My mother, sister, friend Julie, Bryan, and I all bought tickets for a country music dinner dance party cruise, compelled to do so by a mutual friend who was selling them as a marching band fund raiser.

My mother, a fan of CMT’s Wild Horse Saloon and a line dancer extraordinaire, was excited about the country music dance party part. My mom turned 50 that year and it was all about Doing Fun Things With Mom Because She Was 50. The rest of us were less possessed of an "Achy Breaky Heart" and more excited about the open bar.
There are a few things about the Rambler you should know that you may or may not have picked up from his blog.
1. He’s a very gregarious person in public and talks to everyone. He gets this from his father.
2. He is not a big drinker. He gets this from both his parents, who do not, and, as far as I know, HAVE NEVER consumed alcohol.
3. When he does drink, see number 1, multiply it by 10, and enclose it in stars and little wavy exclamatory lines and smiley faces.
On this particular day, we set out in fine weather and sailed out into the Harbor to take in the sea air and discover a bit of Baltimore history. Himself discovered the Melon Ball. With each foray to the bar his return trip was slightly longer, as he added ‘new friends’ to his rounds. At one point, convinced he’d fallen over, I found him deep in conversation with two realtors from Glen Burnie.
Dinner was uneventful, and the music started. It didn’t take us long to discover that even if we DID want to dance, the dance floor was too crowded and the music sucked. Himself and I drifted outside. As we looked out at the lights, we heard it.
Different music. Better music.
“Hey!”
“What?”
“Let’s go to THAT party!”
“No! We can’t just….”
“Oh, they won’t care! C’mon!”
Before I could stop him, he’d thrown open the door to the upper deck and waded into the humanity. I had no choice but to follow him. Into the All You Can Eat Shrimp Party Cruise, hosted by the Sheet Metal Workers local, GM Plant, Wilmington, Delaware.
Now.
I’m pretty sure these people knew we didn’t come with them. It could have been Himself’s oxford shirt and sweater looped around his shoulders a la J Crew. It could have been the fact that neither of us looked capable of building a Saturn.
Or it could have been the fact that the black folks to white folks ratio in the room was 125 to…us. The Rambler pressed on in cheerfulness to the bar and got us a couple of drinks. We found ourselves on a small deck chatting with two guys who looked like they might just bend metal without use of machines, just for a smile. They, and everyone else we met, were very nice.
We danced. And danced. Himself is quite a dancer with Midori as a muse. I was dancing with him, facing the DJs. I saw them watching us. One of them thumbed through a case of CDs, pulled one out, and showed it to the other guy. He laughed and nodded.
The song ended, and there was silence. Then it started.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmH61C
Rambler’s eyes grew wide. “I LOVE this song!” He pronounced to all in hearing. Then, in the words of an instructor in ‘Center Stage’, a film I’ve seen far too many times, he “danced the sh*t out of it”. At one point, shortly before I stopped looking at them (or anyone else, for that matter) I caught a glimpse of the DJs, gripping each others arms, laughing hysterically.
From that day forward, at every wedding reception, banquet, or party where this song was played, he would jump up and dance because they were playing HIS song. He’d dance with so much joy that I waited eight years to tell him that it had been chosen for him as a joke. He didn’t, and doesn’t, care. When that familiar bass line drops, he still jumps up, gets out his thumbs and funky overbite, and ‘dances the sh*t out of it’.
Humor-Blogs.com
Himself also can be found at
Blogerella
Humorbloggers
“I'm going to post about 'Play That Funky Music' because Kathy (from the Junk Drawer) mentioned it.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Although I don’t remember everything….”
“I tell the story better,” I said.
“Want to do a guest post?”
“Sure.”
“We have to have pictures though. Pictures of me being an ass. Dancing.”
“No need to use the wedding album,” I said, “ I have pictures from the day in question!”
So, after a brief robbery-worthy toss of the office, followed by a delicate straightening of the pins to the scanner plug with my good eyebrow tweezers, I bring you The Story.
The year was 1995, the place, Baltimore Inner Harbor. My mother, sister, friend Julie, Bryan, and I all bought tickets for a country music dinner dance party cruise, compelled to do so by a mutual friend who was selling them as a marching band fund raiser.

My mother, a fan of CMT’s Wild Horse Saloon and a line dancer extraordinaire, was excited about the country music dance party part. My mom turned 50 that year and it was all about Doing Fun Things With Mom Because She Was 50. The rest of us were less possessed of an "Achy Breaky Heart" and more excited about the open bar.
There are a few things about the Rambler you should know that you may or may not have picked up from his blog.
1. He’s a very gregarious person in public and talks to everyone. He gets this from his father.
2. He is not a big drinker. He gets this from both his parents, who do not, and, as far as I know, HAVE NEVER consumed alcohol.
3. When he does drink, see number 1, multiply it by 10, and enclose it in stars and little wavy exclamatory lines and smiley faces.
On this particular day, we set out in fine weather and sailed out into the Harbor to take in the sea air and discover a bit of Baltimore history. Himself discovered the Melon Ball. With each foray to the bar his return trip was slightly longer, as he added ‘new friends’ to his rounds. At one point, convinced he’d fallen over, I found him deep in conversation with two realtors from Glen Burnie.
Dinner was uneventful, and the music started. It didn’t take us long to discover that even if we DID want to dance, the dance floor was too crowded and the music sucked. Himself and I drifted outside. As we looked out at the lights, we heard it.
Different music. Better music.
“Hey!”
“What?”
“Let’s go to THAT party!”
“No! We can’t just….”
“Oh, they won’t care! C’mon!”
Before I could stop him, he’d thrown open the door to the upper deck and waded into the humanity. I had no choice but to follow him. Into the All You Can Eat Shrimp Party Cruise, hosted by the Sheet Metal Workers local, GM Plant, Wilmington, Delaware.
Now.
I’m pretty sure these people knew we didn’t come with them. It could have been Himself’s oxford shirt and sweater looped around his shoulders a la J Crew. It could have been the fact that neither of us looked capable of building a Saturn.
Or it could have been the fact that the black folks to white folks ratio in the room was 125 to…us. The Rambler pressed on in cheerfulness to the bar and got us a couple of drinks. We found ourselves on a small deck chatting with two guys who looked like they might just bend metal without use of machines, just for a smile. They, and everyone else we met, were very nice.
We danced. And danced. Himself is quite a dancer with Midori as a muse. I was dancing with him, facing the DJs. I saw them watching us. One of them thumbed through a case of CDs, pulled one out, and showed it to the other guy. He laughed and nodded.
The song ended, and there was silence. Then it started.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmH61C
Rambler’s eyes grew wide. “I LOVE this song!” He pronounced to all in hearing. Then, in the words of an instructor in ‘Center Stage’, a film I’ve seen far too many times, he “danced the sh*t out of it”. At one point, shortly before I stopped looking at them (or anyone else, for that matter) I caught a glimpse of the DJs, gripping each others arms, laughing hysterically.
From that day forward, at every wedding reception, banquet, or party where this song was played, he would jump up and dance because they were playing HIS song. He’d dance with so much joy that I waited eight years to tell him that it had been chosen for him as a joke. He didn’t, and doesn’t, care. When that familiar bass line drops, he still jumps up, gets out his thumbs and funky overbite, and ‘dances the sh*t out of it’.
****
Himself, the Rambler, and Myself, the Shieldmaiden, can be found atHumor-Blogs.com
Himself also can be found at
Blogerella
Humorbloggers

20 comments:
In my mind's eye, I can see it. I see it and I love it. Bless you for sharing this story. Oh, and God bless the Melon Ball, for it makes your funk all the funkier. This is going to be one of those stories I read more than once and wish I was there to see it in living color.
Funk out.
ROFLMAO! I don't care who you are that's funny! Thanks for sharing Shieldmaiden! I'll never be able to listen to that song with out thinking of UR dancing the sh*t out of it!
Hey UR - FIRST!
Sue: The Wife is quite a storyteller, and technically, you're not first. I have two places to comment, Kathy from the Junk Drawer was first in the other comment section. (I know, I know. I need to integrate the sections. Haven't figure out yet.)
Ha! Oh...and never get those two cruises together because Country + Rap = Crap!
This so fits with the image I have in my mind. Thanks for this.
I love,love,love that song!!! I don't know anyone who doesn't.
Rambler, Himself, and any number of names here. Are we sure that we are not reading the blog of the several people trapped inside one man? Was today's "Kathy's" turn?
Could be. Always keep 'em guessing. ;)
Get down with your bad self! (did that make me sound funky?)
What a great story! It stirs up memories of my own alcohol fueled dancing adventures. Some of them I even remember! Thanks for giving me something to smile about this morning.
You're welcome. That's why I did it all those years ago. ;) Actually, I don't get out very often, but when I do...oh, boy, which it sounds like you can, or could, relate.
LOL!! Great story Shieldmaiden! And thanks for not using any parentheses.
If not for the sweater around the neck and the choice of music, Himself was seeming pretty I-Love-The-World-Hippie-Like there.
That is awesome! Sounds like something I would do, or have done, and don't recall doing it.
I'm confused by the multiple comment fields. I left one below the post, though.
Good tell, ShieldMaiden!
First of all....I've seen the dude dance and it is not attractive or ... umm...noteworthy. It is embarrassing and ... well, let's just say this. He did the Macarana at his wedding (can't spell it sorry).
As for our parents...dad had a beer once. On a hot summer day. He was about 19 and dating mom. And mom threatened to break up with him. You want an exciting story? Just ask about that one....
And didn't you used to have video of this somewhere? Darn it...I was really hoping you did! :-)
VE: You mean you don't like Kid Rock? :)
Thinkinfyou: Agreed. I think you're from another planet, if you don't like that song.
Daisy: You are one funky cat. I know. I visit your site.
Muskrat: It's too complicated to explain the separate e-mails. Some day JS-Kit will respond to me and I'll get it straightened out. Either way, I'll see it and respond to you.
35 days to the fire/ambulance banquet, baby. Keep those joints limber.
Am I crazy, or are there two different sets of comments for this post? Stop messin' with my head!
Yes, there are. I can't get JS-Kit for Blogger to work here and it's also supposed to have CommentLuv, but I can't get that to work either. I think it's this template. Too many other parameters and since I'm not an HTML person, I'm not really figuring it out.
Post a Comment
Want to leave a long, rambling diatribe on the state of world affairs? Have at it...somewhere else. I'm the unfinished rambler here. But feel free to leave your aphorisms, especially encomiums, panegyrics to the author. Feel free to consult a thesaurus like I did.